Why Have All the Elders Left and Where Have They Gone

2010 May

Why Have All the Elders Left and Where Have They Gone

The definition of an Elder is a person who is older and wiser than others. So by this definition anyone CAN think of themselves as an Elder. Then why do I at 59 feel like I know so very little? That I have so much more yet to learn myself? It must be wonderful to have all the answers at the age of 20 and have that pointed out to me in front of a group of people. And yet a few minutes later they complain and lament about the lack of true elders in the community that they can turn to for help.

I can tell you reasons why the elders are leaving or have left the community.

It never ceased to amaze me when I visited chatrooms and someone would enter the room and introduce herself as a Wiccan High Priestess and tell us that she has been one for 15 years. I would be impressed and then she would tell us that she was 25. After doing the math we would now know that she was only 10 years old when she became “Wiccan”. When I would ask her if her parents were “Wiccan” she would reply with an emphatic NO. I would like to meet the members in this coven who have been teaching 10 year olds without their parent’s permission. Oh wait, she is not a member of a group or coven because no one will accept her. Who do I think I am and how rude for me to ask her these questions and humiliate her in the chatroom. Whoosshhh, slam goes the chatroom door. This scenario in the chatrooms was not an uncommon “story”, it was heard countless times. After awhile the fun of being in a chatroom became nonexistent and when something is no longer fun, the person needs to change something. My decision was to no longer go into the chatrooms. Point lost to the Elders.

Recently I went into my facebook page. For those who are not familiar with Facebook, there is occasionally a suggested list of friends located on the right side of the screen page. On the suggested list Facebook had posted someone with the name HP Something or Other. The name looked interesting to me and just out of curiosity, I decided to follow the link to the person’s page. When I noticed that this person was female I did a little heads up and said that HP was an abreviation for High Priest and HPS was the abreviation for High Priestess, I received a nasty little note back saying
“whatever floats your boat sweetie”. I decided not to respond nor add “her” as a friend. Point lost to the Elders.

I cannot tell you the amount of times that someone has looked me in the eye and said, ” when the student is ready the teacher will appear “. I am willing to play the game one more time, hoping that this time will be different. Was it not Einstein who said “ the definition of insanity is doing something over and over and expecting a different result”. Since I am hoping for a different result, I must be insane. I admit it, so give me the blue happy pills…quantity of 100 to be taken with or without water would be just great! So, I return home and print off yet another copy of the Dedicant’s Requirements, along with several pages of information to help them with the lessons. I do not ask them for funds to help pay for paper, ink nor my gas, nor the time I take out of my schedule. So I receive no payment and that includes a simple thank you. There is an attitude of entitlement that seems to be just under the surface of this prospective student. And many of the Elders are becoming aware of the “entitlement attitude”. I also can tell you that once the student has looked at the 12 little requirements in the dedicant’s program and read over some of the information that I have printed out for them, that they might meet with me one or maybe even two times and never again hear from them. When they find out that there is work involved and just by being in my presence or holding the papers in their hands the desired information cannot miraculously transfer itself into their brain, they are gone, never to be heard of again. They will go home and read a chapter in the book, give themselves a self-initiation and then proclaim themselves a High Priest or High Priestess of their group of one. Or, if I do see them again, they have developed amnesia and have no clue who I am. I cannot tell you the number of times I have driven to a designated meeting place only to sit by myself an hour past our scheduled meeting time. There is no phone call saying that they needed to cancel nor any type of apology for missing the meeting. And since almost everyone has a cell phone I simply cannot understand why they could not take 2 minutes to call me and save me an unnecessary 64 mile trip. But then again my time and resources are apparently endless. I have nothing in the world to do but serve them. Point lost to the Elders.

After so many years and the number of lost points accumulate I can tell you where the Elders have gone.

The headaches, the frustration, the feeling of being used for the sake of obtaining a title that can be used to flaunt over others is not the payment that the Elders are expecting nor willing to accept as payment. The Elders have come to a point in their lives where they have realized that life is short and that they have the choice of what to do with the little time they have left in this life. They have gone back to their homes, their own dreams and their own passions and interests that bring them joy in life. They have gone back to their own to do lists to work on. They have gone back to their own studies. They have decided to take back their lives and be with their own friends and families.

It is time for the rest of you to decide what you want. If you want the help of the Elders, then ask SHOW SOME GRATITUDE. If you do not want the help of the Elders, then stop the damn whining about how they are supposed to help you because it is their DUTY. The Elders OWE you NOTHING.

Lucille M Rose aka LJ